— Studio
Shaun approaches a man at the back of the studio, who kneels next to a vacuum cleaner on a cloth-draped pedestal and an assortment of bottles.
Shaun: Joining me now is Paul Nolte, from Zigzag Direct. Hi, Paul, what have you got for us today?
He takes a knee.
Title: Paid Advertising Spot
Paul (BF): Hi, Shaun, look at this.
He pours some chocolate syrup on the carpet.
Shaun: [to camera] Oh, no, chocolate syrup. Paul.
Paul: What about some oil, Shaun?
He pours some cooking oil on the carpet.
Shaun: [to camera] Oil? No, Paul, what a mess.
Paul: Finally, ink.
Shaun: [to camera] Oh, Paul, what are you thinking? That’ll ruin the carpet, you’ll never get that out.
Paul: Let’s rub that straight into the fabric.
He pours some ink out and scrubs at it with a shoe-polishing brush.
Shaun: Oh, crazy, crazy. What are you doing, Paul?
Paul stares at the mess he’s made. He glances at Shaun, then looks down again.
Paul: Sorry. Don’t know what I was doing. [He gets up and moves over to a set of books on a shelf. Shaun gets slowly to his feet and follows him, looking confused and suspicious. As Paul keeps talking he quickly resumes his façade.] Um, Encyclopaedia Britannica has been a traditional source of knowledge for many people since the first set was produced in 1885, but at just over three thousand dollars, few families can afford it. [Shaun nods.] Then we thought of a way to make it cheaper. [He picks up a can of spray paint from behind the books, shakes it, and sprays the spines of the books.] Deliberately damaging stock like this means a drastic mark-down in price, and that’s good news for you.
Shaun: Do you – Ah, do you have any identification?
Paul looks nonplussed for a moment, and then dashes off stage.
The Shaun Micallef Transcripts Archive 