— Studio
Shaun walks toward the camera.
Shaun: Ladies and gentlemen, it seems that everyone these days wants to present a travel programme, but there are just so many places to choose from. In fact, the number of travel destinations are limited only by the Earth’s circumference. Where can networks go to get their Australian content produced as cheaply as possible? Francis Greenslade is in the Maldives to find out. Are you there, Francis?
Francis appears on half of the screen.
Francis: Well, yes, I am, Shaun, but this piece is pre-recorded, so I can’t hear you.
Shaun: Fair enough.
— The Maldives
Francis is dressed in holiday attire in front of some palm trees.
Francis: The Maldives: bright scenery, people in bathing costumes, and dissolves to file footage like this, [The picture dissolves to images of boats, and continues with footage of various other holiday activities.] and you’ve got the makings of a great infotainment programme. [Calm music begins playing.] Stereotypical music like this can be obtained from inexpensive production discs available in your station’s sound department, not too far from the booth where I’m recording this voice-over. [Francis stands in front of a hotel.] The hotel Miramar, in association with Qantas, offers a great deal: [He is now on the balcony of a suite.] in return for mentioning them on the programme, you get free airfare and accommodation for the presenter, crew, and production staff, [He is now sitting at the bar.] plus complementary meals and unlimited bar tab for the duration of the shoot. [to bar tender] Eight banana daiquiris, thanks. No, I’m serious. [Voice over footage of a sunset beach, with one side showing the balance sheet of the programme.] In addition to the all-expenses-paid shoot, cheap crew, and use of the programme as a cross-promotional vehicle, the lucrative advertising dollars from sponsors when the programme goes to air gives the network a net profit of well over two hundred thousand dollars a show. Try doing that with an Australian drama.
Title: Getting Away with it!
The Shaun Micallef Transcripts Archive 